Grill Me Another Plant Burger

I used to be one of the biggest consumers of red meat.

Hamburgers, hot dogs, sausage, bacon, ham, meatloaf…you name it.

Oh yeah. I could never get enough.

But sometime along the way I began to think about exactly where all this deliciousness was coming from.

Does anyone know what abattoir means? It’s a fancy French word for slaughterhouse.

Yes, all that tasty meat comes from the slaughtered bodies of animals -- you know, mammals, not that different from you or me. Animals that -- like you and me -- feel pain, love and protect their babies and fear their deaths.

OK -- I know that humans have been feasting on the bodies of animals since the beginning of time, but I’m not sure that’s such a great statement to hide behind when it comes to the morality of killing millions of cattle, hogs, turkeys and chickens every year.

I’ve never done it, but I think every “gotta-have-my-steak” person should tour a slaughterhouse some time to really see where their steak comes from.

Maybe they’d consider another alternative.

Well, I have. And I LOVE it!

It’s the world of Fake Meat -- as I call it -- and it’s the answer to my prayers.

Oh, there have been “veggie burgers” for years. I tried so many of them, but they all came up way short. Most were bland, dry, bean-based concoctions that simply did not taste good.

But recently -- probably in the last two years -- technology has brought something wonderful to this world: A TASTY Fake Meat burger!

Now, I don’t want to push any particular brands in this blog -- unless they want to sponsor me -- but let’s just say there’s one that is head-and-shoulders above the rest. And it’s becoming available in most of your finer supermarkets.

And some fast food chains -- Burger King in particular -- now offer a pretty tasty plant burger. I’m sure more chains will follow soon given the public’s desire to eat less meat for dietary and ethical reasons.

Today’s “veggie burger” is light years better than its cardboard-tasting forebears. They’re plump, juicy, and even have a bit of “blood” in them (actually beet juice).

Americans have been eating far more meat than they did 50 years ago, according to a 2017 article on brandongaiile.com., which said we are consuming an average of more than 250 pounds of meat each year.

That’s an average of 50 pounds more meat per person than was eaten annually in 1950, the article said.

And while meat is a great source of protein, it’s also a great source of calories -- you know, the stuff that’s turning Americans into walking blimps compared to the populations of most other countries.

And don’t get me started about “cow farts.”

Cattle are believed to be responsible for up to 20 percent of the methane annually produced in the U.S. That’s air pollution contributing to the overall climate change that’s creating the hottest and driest years on record.

(To be fair to cows, it’s not so much their farts but their burps that are releasing the methane.)

Be that as it may, it seems the time is more than ripe to -- if not cut meat out entirely from our diets -- at least reduce its consumption.

It would be a win-win for us -- and the animal world.